Retail

So…imagine this if you can.  I am…well…I am putting stupid summer toys up on a counter that was just created from nothingness so back to school stuff could be set up. Yes Back to school. Stupid retail….anyways.

The phone rings.  This can never be good. Either it is another department looking for something, some random customer, or a manager. Either way, it usually doesn’t work out very well. But I answer it. I like a challenge.

It is a customer. Joy.

Anyways, this guy starts telling me about how he had called earlier and had asked about a shed that we kept in the green area. I didn’t know we had a green area…then I realized he meant the greenhouse. And he said he had then been talking to a manager because regular sales associates (like me) can’t special order stuff. Managers do that.

So this is getting kinda interesting. I try to tell him I am not the person he had talked to before and not a manager. Doesn’t seem to work. Weird. I say I can page a manager for him. He says “You are a manager”. Again, I say I am not.

This goes on for quite a while.

Eventually, he just gets angry that I am not a manager and just hangs up on me.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the weird stuff that I get to deal with at work. Why me?

Earlier tonight, I made ice cubes. I think one of the trays fell partially into the other one. When I picked it up, it started to crap ice cubes. How weird is that?

This seems like something that could happen to me at some point. And I don’t know the corporate values/mission statement either. I actually don’t think anyone does….

Sure am!

I fell off a shelf.

I was trying to put a bike back up on the shelf. I decided that I didn’t need a ladder. Overrated. So I am on the middle of a 3 level shelf and grab a bar up top so I don’t fall over. As I do this, I am also holding onto a bike. Suddenly, I hear the shelf come undone and poof…I am flying backwards into another shelf. Somehow I landed on my feet and all I got was a little scrape.  Oh ya, as this was happening, my manager and some other staff were laughing.

And now for something completely different:

YAHOO NEWS, NOVEMBER 14TH, 2007

Yahoo! endeavors to publish only facts for our users and regret that we published AP’s non-factual story on Paris Hilton on November 13.

Here is the explanation from AP regarding the erroneous article:

GAUHATI, India - In a Nov. 13 story, The Associated Press incorrectly reported that Paris Hilton was praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. Lori Berk, a publicist for Hilton, said she never made any comments about helping drunken elephants in India.

Yes…drunken elephants in India….:S

You know the type of day….no matter how much you do, you feel like you have not accomplished anything at work. And to top it all off, you can’t get out of the place on time.

I had one of those days today.

It started out pretty normally. I woke up. That’s where the normalcy ends. As soon as I got to work, we started to build a book display. Well, first off, we took the old one out and put it aside. Okay…so far, doesn’t seem too odd. However, this is where it happened - we opened the box for the new fixture and it was the exact same thing except blue. Great. For a while, we started building the new one, but eventually gave up and just put the old one back in. Then we looked at the mod sheets. The fixture had space for 5 things across; the mod called for 6 across. Wonderful.

That made my morning. I went for lunch.

When I came back, I got to catch a fish. The people were crazy. They needed different bags for all the fish and tried to convince me there was no difference between cold water fish and warm water fish. Whatever. Kill you fish and see if I care. Joy of joys.

Suddenly I was putting a new patio table out (after sweeping the floor) and making price flags for it. That took a good five minutes. Then I got to move flower bulbs from one display to another. I’m not sure what the purpose of that was, but I did it.

I went for coffee.

I came back and tried to hide for a while. I needed a break from the insanity. Unfortunately, you can’t hide in retail. They can always find you somehow. So I went onto a till for a few minutes - at least then I can’t be pulled away to poke a Tater of the Lost Ark for someone (yes they do exist):

There is also a whip that plays the Indiana Jones theme. I played with that for a while:

It was almost time to go home. Hallelujah!

Just as I was about to clock out, I hear the dreaded page “Tyler call 316. Tyler call 316″. Oh great. I was not happy, but I called nonetheless.

I somehow managed to get puled back onto the sales floor (after I was supposed to be off the clock and going home) so I could help a customer load a hammock swing into their car (which was actually funnier than it sounds….). I did that and almost ran to the back. I clocked out, grabbed my empty lunch kit and got out of that place as quickly as I could.

I do this all again tomorrow. Yipee?

Why must you always treat me as if I was just a rag?
What is it that you think gives you this right?
Why do you think that you can expect so much from others
And not have them expect the same from you?

Why do you feel the need to bring people down?
Never saying what they may have done well?
Why is it that you must always tell us our faults?
Do you actually believe that you are perfect?

Why is it that whenever we try to tell you something you do not listen?
Is it because you do not want to hear the truth?
Do you believe that you are always right?
What is it that goes through your mind at times like those?

If you would open up and tell us something
Perhaps we would understand you better
But no, not you
You can not let yourself be shown
You have made your mind up that that would be disastrous
And if by chance you do express a feeling
It is always against another
If we try and let you know what we think about it
You do not listen, your mind is already set on your decision
Should you not consider the facts before a decision is reached?

Why do you feel the need to compare some to others?
Not all are alike, we are all created to be different
If you were to be compared to someone else, would you enjoy it?
I think that you would not, and that you would make all attempts to stop such activity
And yet you feel that you have the right to do the same to us?
Your hypocrisy is something that you claim to not engage in
And yet all can see it clearly in the way you act

If you truly want to express a sentiment or want to say something
Perhaps saying so without accusatory remarks or vulgar languages
Would elicit a better response…or a response at all

So, what have I been doing since I last posted? I guess, I should update the blog…even though all I have really been doing is working and as we all know…work is so much fun (or not). Anyways, imagine this - you work in a major retail store, in the garden centre, and every day that you go to work you have the chance of falling onto a hard concrete floor because you have had to climb up the shelving to get something for a customer. Imagine no more - this is my life!

Anyways, the point of that sentence is that I almost fell onto the floor while doing just that - in front of a whole bunch of customers. That could have been messy. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the glory of retail. Luckily I caught myself before I fell. This sort of stuff happens all too often. The other day I climbed up to the ceiling level so that I could get a plant stand down for someone. My only comment was “This has to be the most dangerous thing I’ve done in the past hour”. A garden centre is a hazard to your health.

Oh ya…I bought tickets to Hairspray and will be seeing it from the third row(how I managed to get seats that good is beyond me). And the movie soundtrak to Phantom annoys me, cause they cut songs out. Blasphemy!

MAY CONTAIN SOME SPOILERS! BE FOREWARNED!

As you can perhaps see by the title of this post, I recently went to see The Phantom Of The Opera live. First off, I have to say, this is not a post about retail work. However, the show is so amazing that I needed to talk about it here. So, I am.

I went up to where it was being produced yesterday morning. When I got there, it was really early (the show was at 7:30 PM, I was there at noon). Oh well…I was staying overnight and the hotel I would be at was across the street from a mall, so I went there for a while. I should have taken some sort of pictures of all of the cool displays set up around the city, but I didn’t. Ah well. I bought a couple of shirts. And lunch. Eventually, went and checked into the Hilton Garden Inn (the official hotel of the show - the cast party had been the night before, so I missed possibly meeting them by one night…). Anyways, it is a nice hotel, and it was all decked out in Phantom-ness (I totally made up that word). They even had the soundtrack from the movie playing all throughout the hotel lobby and the restaurant had a whole Phantom themed menu. Quite cool.

So, I hung out in my room for a while, got all dressed up for the show (because that is what you do, and if you don’t know that, well, poop on you). As I went out the front doors of the hotel to walk to the theatre, the first thing I heard was the Phantom of the Opera overture being played through loudspeakers. So cool.

And then I went inside. It was pure insanity. Eventually found my seat, after having my ticket scanned at the door and buying a souvenir program. Sure it was expensive, but it was a necessity. Sat around for a while and listened to the pit orchestra tune up. That was cool. And then the disembodied voice came on and welcomed up to “This evenings performance of The Phantom of the Opera”. You knew it was about to start. The house went dark. And the show started. From the first bang of the gavel, it was great. “Perhaps we may frighten away the ghost of so many years ago with a little illumination, GENTLEMEN!” And when the Overture started and the chandelier explosion happened, it kept getting better. It was hard to not over analyze everything (having a knowledge of the technical and acting aspects of theatre can be a blessing and a curse). Anyways, some of the greatest effects were definitely in “The Phantom of the Opera” and “All I Ask Of You (Reprise)”. After all, how can a chandelier crashing to the stage not be cool? So there was the end of the first act. Intermission was a little too short for the venue (not enough washrooms, kinda crowded lobby) but I made it back with time to spare. The second act had some really cool effects in it as well. It started with “Masquerade/Why So Silent?” and the stage suddenly had a huge staircase in it with the entire company on it. That was cool to see. I loved the scenery in “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again”. The artistic design of Christine’s father’s tomb was astounding, and the way that they used that with the smoke and her singing would have made an amazing press shot. That again was my theatre training trying to take over my mind. The fire shooting out of the stage as the Phantom speaks to her from above the tomb is chilling and makes the audience feel as though the Phantom’s scheming is working. Even without the scenery, the song is just as chilling. The music resonates while the vocalization of operatic notes alongside dark tones amplify the darkness of the song being sung at a tomb. As the show begins to wind down, most people think the music may do the same. Not in Phantom. Instead, it continues to build until the very last note. The song “The Point Of No Return” emphasizes Christine’s willingness to do whatever is needed to ensure the terror the Phantom has been unleashing on the Opera Populaire will be finished with. The use of the Phantom’s voice coming from all over the theatre before this song is effective in keeping the haunting feelings in play. As Christine and the Phantom return to beneath the theatre, the music builds to its highest point where the Phantom’s true hatred of his true nature comes to light. The very last lines sung by the Phantom:

“You alone
can make my song take flight -
it’s over now, the music of the night . . .”

bring the show to a close.

It was time for curtain call. I can’t say enough how impressed I was by all of the actors in the show, and again wish that I could have been there for the cast party. Think of how cool that would have been. Now that I have seen the show from the audience’s perspective (and I need to see more! and soon!) I would love to see it from backstage. It would be cool to see how all of the set pieces fly in and out.

So, thats my little thing about my trip to see The Phantom of the Opera. It’s the longest running show in Broadway history, with over 8000 performances since 1988, and I can see why. Next up for me - Hairspray (I hope).

Ever wonder what would happen if the power went out in a retail store? Wonder no more! Tonight, I got to experience it firsthand. First off….the place gets really dark. Some emergency lighting does come on, but it only lasts 30-45 minutes (well, at least where I work) then the store starts to slowly go completely dark. It’s kinda weird. And a little eerie. Cause the lights never go out. But back to when the power first goes out: as staff, we get to walk around the store with our flashlights (that normally don’t work) and search for people, telling them to drop everything and come to the front of the store because we are closing early and need to get all customers out of the store right away. As this is going on, the people in the food & candy department are supposed to be putting tarps over the coolers that are open so that we can retain as much cool air as possible. Meanwhile, we are trying to find a phone that works so that we can call for a cooler truck to be delivered to the store so we can load all of our cooler stock into it. As this insanity is going on on the sales floor, the receiving area is struggling to move all of the stock that came off the truck into the store so that the reefer truck can back up to the loading docks and we can load the perishables onto it. Once we finally get everyone out of the store, we get to do another walk through of the store to make sure that no customers are left. The includes checking all of the washrooms, the change rooms, and any ares of the store that people could hide in. Oh..did I mention that backup power has started to go offline by now, and as we are searching the store, our emergency lighting is failing and most parts of the store are now completely in the dark, except for the flashlight beams.  After this wonderful adventure, we have to go and fill out time adjustment sheets, cause after all…we can use the time clock when there is no power going to it and the computer it is attached to is not working. We start to get supplies ready then for loading the coolers into the reefer truck. Just as we are about to do so, the power comes back on. All of the alarms for the fire doors start to go off, the tills begin beeping as they reboot, store radio comes back on (and really loud too), all of the annoying advertising TV’s throughout the place start back up (we get to watch them load Windows…yipee) and all of the phones start to work again. All of the managers who had to be called in go home, the reefer truck gets cancelled, and we get to go home a little early, because we closed the store down when we lost our power.

And I thought tonight was going to be boring. And yes, this did happen tonight.